As a rule, I don’t generally like nightclubs. They always strike me as overpriced and kind of shady. The staff rarely strike me as friendly. The atmosphere rarely strikes me as comfortable. I rarely know the songs being played. I can have fun dancing for short increments, but eventually someone steals my drink or all of the songs start running repetitively together or a weird/creepy/drunk stranger makes things awkward.
But clubs are really good at expediting a 3-step process of drinking —> dancing —> hooking up with someone. For this reason, no matter how or why I’ve found myself there, a nightclub always seems to carry this sexual charge, these erotic shades of meaning. Every time I interact with someone new, I wonder whether the meaning behind the interaction is the same for both of us. Do we want the same thing? Do we want anything?
I was out with some newly acquired travel friends (known for 2-5 days) the other night, and we found ourselves at a club— the type of place where it is acceptable to jump up on a table and start dancing— which is what we did. And it was fun as hell… for a while. But my usual dance partner— my girlfriend— was not present, which means (if I’m a mostly decent person who doesn’t cheat, which I am) that I was platonically clubbing. This is a seldom discussed concept, one that the internet has not devoted much time to. What does it feel like to go to such a sexually charged atmosphere knowing that no sex will come of it?
It feels confusing. You’re out with friends, and you’re spending money, so you want to have a good time. But exactly where is the line between a good time and a morally questionable one? Is it fine to dance with people who aren’t your girlfriend? I think so. What about really close dancing? Less sure. What about close dancing with someone you do find rather attractive? Or someone who feels that way about you? What happens if you’re just dancing for the sake of dancing, but your dance partner interprets it as a romantic advance?
Perhaps you’re thinking that you should simply be a mature adult and communicate your situation clearly. If so, you’re probably right except for one thing. Alcohol. It affects communication, blurs it, rubs down its edges. What happens if someone who’s drinking becomes attracted to you and will not take no for an answer? What happens if you drink enough that you start leading them on without realizing it? I mentioned some of these ideas to one guy whose response was, “Just don’t put it in anyone and you’ll be fine.” I think it’s more complicated than that, but maybe I’m just thinking too much.
In any case, night clubs make me feel awkward. They are fun in small doses with the right people, but I always hit a limit where I no longer want to drink or dance, and I never wanted to hook up in the first place (although the atmosphere brings this notion to mind)… which makes for a very lonely and boring club experience. So I leave.
It is hard to platonically club.
